Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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