So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
