It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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