yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
