She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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