i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
