You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
