Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
