great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
