K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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