The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
