I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
