Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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