I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just tell him i said nine months
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
