I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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