hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My penis needs a shock collar
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
