Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
