she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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