He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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