Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
