Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
