Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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