I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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