my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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