i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
