I have demons in me.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
