Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
