The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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