i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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