I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
