I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
