you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
