We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
