While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
