im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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