I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
