Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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