I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
