Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
