I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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