and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
