I just pynch a tree in the face
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
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