theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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