love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
