i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
