Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
