Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
