remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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