I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
