I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
